Name: Joanne Joy
Nickname: Annejo, Oan
Birthday: December 27
Hobbies: reading, writing, painting,
Favorite Color: Blue, Brown, Green
Favorite Food: CHOCOLATE!
Favorite Book: everything!
Favorite Writers/Authors: J.R.R. Tolkien, Dan Brown, J.K. Rowling, Michael Crichton, Tom Clancy
Favorite Song: there's so many, I appreciate all kinds of songs
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Mental
It was 9 pm and we just finished eating dinner. Me and my father were sitting on the sofa watching television. My father was watching a sports channel. Cycling was on and I was not that interested. I was not a fan of cycling. My father said it was the first of the biggest races in cycling. It's called Giro d'Italia. I wasn't that interested and I was just watching mindlessly. Then, the camera showed a cyclist. He looked at the camera and then, he smiled.
His smile pierced through my heart. I was enchanted. I couldn't speak at first and then I asked who he was. My stomach twisted at the sound of his name. I couldn't breathe.
I feel something. That, I am quite sure. What I don't know is, is it just a crush? or something bigger?
Is it just an infatuation? or is it something more?
My feelings deepened. I wanted to know everything about him. I found out that he's an Italian, he's 31 years old and just turned 32 today. When I knew what his age was, I immediately decided that age doesn't matter for me. Pathetic, right?
I also wanted to have a picture of him. I spent hours in the internet just browsing through Google for pictures. I also have an album in Facebook just for him. I also became interested in cycling. I found myself always looking forward for upcoming races that he might be interested to join. I even wanted to learn how to speak Italian and live in Italy.
And, then, the daydreams began to come. First, I saw myself becoming a journalist and covering cycling. I saw myself meeting him and having a relationship with him. And, I saw myself getting engaged and then married to him and having a family together. I was in love with him.
More daydreams came and this time, it was more detailed. I can see how he will say he's in love with me too. I can also feel how our kiss would be. I was definitely in love with him.
The problem is, he doesn't know anything. He doesn't even know me. He doesn't know that, somewhere on Earth, there's me that's in love with him.
Then, I realized I was obsessed. I'm obsessed right now. I am very concerned because it has become an obsession. And, I think it's not good.
But, I'll always have the thought of him. There's a part of me that still hopes for the impossible, but I'll always know it would remain impossible. I get tired loving him sometimes, but, I'm already in too deep. I know I can't fool myself.
And, I could only comfort myself with his imaginary arms, his imaginary stares, and his imaginary kisses.
His smile pierced through my heart. I was enchanted. I couldn't speak at first and then I asked who he was. My stomach twisted at the sound of his name. I couldn't breathe.
I feel something. That, I am quite sure. What I don't know is, is it just a crush? or something bigger?
Is it just an infatuation? or is it something more?
My feelings deepened. I wanted to know everything about him. I found out that he's an Italian, he's 31 years old and just turned 32 today. When I knew what his age was, I immediately decided that age doesn't matter for me. Pathetic, right?
I also wanted to have a picture of him. I spent hours in the internet just browsing through Google for pictures. I also have an album in Facebook just for him. I also became interested in cycling. I found myself always looking forward for upcoming races that he might be interested to join. I even wanted to learn how to speak Italian and live in Italy.
And, then, the daydreams began to come. First, I saw myself becoming a journalist and covering cycling. I saw myself meeting him and having a relationship with him. And, I saw myself getting engaged and then married to him and having a family together. I was in love with him.
More daydreams came and this time, it was more detailed. I can see how he will say he's in love with me too. I can also feel how our kiss would be. I was definitely in love with him.
The problem is, he doesn't know anything. He doesn't even know me. He doesn't know that, somewhere on Earth, there's me that's in love with him.
Then, I realized I was obsessed. I'm obsessed right now. I am very concerned because it has become an obsession. And, I think it's not good.
But, I'll always have the thought of him. There's a part of me that still hopes for the impossible, but I'll always know it would remain impossible. I get tired loving him sometimes, but, I'm already in too deep. I know I can't fool myself.
And, I could only comfort myself with his imaginary arms, his imaginary stares, and his imaginary kisses.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Comatose
Have you ever felt severe tiredness? Have you ever felt like your body aches all over? Have you ever felt like all your muscles turned soft or have you ever felt like you're so wasted you couldn't think clearly anymore?
I did.
When the semester began, I was so hopeful. I feel so activated and I wanted to participate in almost anything. But, as the semester droned on and the assignments and projects began to pile up and bury all of us, I felt a sudden tension.
Everything just continued to come towards us with blinding speed and all of them had due dates at the same times. How will we ever survive?
Was this a new kind of torture invented by professors?
We don't have a choice, do we? We have to do all of it or they will give us low grades. I feel like we're on a hostage situation where they hold our grades hostage and we had to do everything for the ransom.
With everything almost done, take note, ALMOST done, I feel so tired. I just think that I could fall asleep anywhere, just give me a damn flat surface. I approximately traveled for 67.74 miles and walked a thousand steps. We haven't had proper sleep and we haven't eaten meals on time.
Is this what we have to go through to pass my subjects? IF we pass.
Will they make considerations and appreciate our efforts and sacrifices?
We'll find out on the day we receive our class cards.
I hope it will be worth it or else.....
I did.
When the semester began, I was so hopeful. I feel so activated and I wanted to participate in almost anything. But, as the semester droned on and the assignments and projects began to pile up and bury all of us, I felt a sudden tension.
Everything just continued to come towards us with blinding speed and all of them had due dates at the same times. How will we ever survive?
Was this a new kind of torture invented by professors?
We don't have a choice, do we? We have to do all of it or they will give us low grades. I feel like we're on a hostage situation where they hold our grades hostage and we had to do everything for the ransom.
With everything almost done, take note, ALMOST done, I feel so tired. I just think that I could fall asleep anywhere, just give me a damn flat surface. I approximately traveled for 67.74 miles and walked a thousand steps. We haven't had proper sleep and we haven't eaten meals on time.
Is this what we have to go through to pass my subjects? IF we pass.
Will they make considerations and appreciate our efforts and sacrifices?
We'll find out on the day we receive our class cards.
I hope it will be worth it or else.....
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Hidden Talent
" Butterflies don't know how beautiful they are,
Just like people don't know how wonderful they are..."
I've heard and read this quote a dozen times and it doesn't fail to inspire me every time.
I believe in this quote because I experience it myself and I know the feeling. I want to do so many things. I want to write, paint, dance, design clothes and be a photographer. So many dreams for an ordinary girl. But, I don't want to be ordinary. I want to be different and do great things that the world hasn't seen before.
I am a big dreamer. I dream to be a famous writer and a painter. I dream to be a fashion designer and to be a professional photographer. And, I don't want them to stay a dream. I want to make them real.
Being a writer, I always have something to write about. I could write almost about anything. But, there's a small voice in my head that asks me, "Is it worth reading? Do you think you really are a writer? Are you sure?"
With this small voice, I always get timid. Never volunteering in activities and never trying to pursue my dreams.
I always tell myself that I should be brave. If I don't try, I will always be in the same place. So, I try to show my articles and other projects to my parents and my friends.
I didn't expect that they will react so positively to my works. They liked my articles and my paintings. I was so happy. I never knew that my works are worth sharing.
Just like the quote, I didn't know how wonderful my works can be. I never thought I am this talented.
For me, don't listen to the negative voices in your head. It will never help you and you'll end up throwing your talents away.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Hot, Hotter, and Hottest
It's a very hot day. I'm trying to keep my body hydrated so I have a bottle of water beside me. As I feel the great power of heat, I couldn't help but compare the climate from when I was a little girl.
Like today, the temperature before can also reach up to thirty four degree celsius, but, the heat today is very different from the kind of heat I felt before.
The heat today is excruciating. It's kind of like burning your skin. I feel very lazy to move and do anything. I hope we could still save Earth from the possible dangers of Global Warming. This kind of heat that we can feel is a manifestation of the damages we have inflicted to our ozone layer.
It's not too late to make a change. If we will not move, this heat will be worse than we could expect.
If it's already hot before and it is hotter today, I wouldn't want to witness the day that the temperature here on Earth will be the hottest, would you want to?
Like today, the temperature before can also reach up to thirty four degree celsius, but, the heat today is very different from the kind of heat I felt before.
The heat today is excruciating. It's kind of like burning your skin. I feel very lazy to move and do anything. I hope we could still save Earth from the possible dangers of Global Warming. This kind of heat that we can feel is a manifestation of the damages we have inflicted to our ozone layer.
It's not too late to make a change. If we will not move, this heat will be worse than we could expect.
If it's already hot before and it is hotter today, I wouldn't want to witness the day that the temperature here on Earth will be the hottest, would you want to?
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Beginner's Luck
How hard is it to do oil painting?
So hard that I can't help to think twice and ask myself if I really want to do this. I want to learn how to paint beautifully. I want to paint like a great painter.
What do I want to paint?
I want to paint nature, sceneries, and people. I also want to paint Italy.
What is my inspiration?
Italy. Since I started watching cycling, I was inspired by Italy. When I watched Giro d'Italia and saw how beautiful Italy is, I wanted to learn oil painting.
How will I start?
With watercolor. I want to practice blending colors and adding values.
And voila! I would be a great painter. (^_^)
So hard that I can't help to think twice and ask myself if I really want to do this. I want to learn how to paint beautifully. I want to paint like a great painter.
What do I want to paint?
I want to paint nature, sceneries, and people. I also want to paint Italy.
What is my inspiration?
Italy. Since I started watching cycling, I was inspired by Italy. When I watched Giro d'Italia and saw how beautiful Italy is, I wanted to learn oil painting.
How will I start?
With watercolor. I want to practice blending colors and adding values.
And voila! I would be a great painter. (^_^)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Hopeless
All I could say is I'm sorry. Not because I was wrong, but, because I can't forgive you. It was just too painful. I was so hurt. I still couldn't believe that you can actually say those things. I was really hurt.
I wanted to forget everything, forgive everything because I thought that if God can forgive us for all our sins, I can too. But, how can I, if just a flash of that memory, a wave of pain comes to my heart? How can I forgive you for all the hurtful words you threw at me? Tell me.
There's a small place in my mind that wishes all of it never happened, that you never said those things, and that you never insulted me.
I remember all our talks, how you taught me some things that I should learn, and how I treated you like my best friend with whom I can tell my secrets and my heartaches. But, all of it vanished with just a quick flashback. It was done.
Then reality showed me every truth. You did said all those painful words. You did insulted me. You did abandoned me. You did all of it. You hurt me.
So, I'm saying sorry because I don't know if I could ever forgive you. I HATE YOU!
I wanted to forget everything, forgive everything because I thought that if God can forgive us for all our sins, I can too. But, how can I, if just a flash of that memory, a wave of pain comes to my heart? How can I forgive you for all the hurtful words you threw at me? Tell me.
There's a small place in my mind that wishes all of it never happened, that you never said those things, and that you never insulted me.
I remember all our talks, how you taught me some things that I should learn, and how I treated you like my best friend with whom I can tell my secrets and my heartaches. But, all of it vanished with just a quick flashback. It was done.
Then reality showed me every truth. You did said all those painful words. You did insulted me. You did abandoned me. You did all of it. You hurt me.
So, I'm saying sorry because I don't know if I could ever forgive you. I HATE YOU!
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